Questionable Values?

My family just found out that Starbucks, creator of excellent coffee and fancy frappacinos, financially supports Planned Parenthood and gay marriage rights. Now I've been telling some friends of mine that I am not surprised in the slightest- it suits Starbucks. And they don't seem to know what I'm talking about and tell me things like "it's a coffee shop. How could it suit Starbucks? That doesn't make sense." And then I get all tongue tied and feel kind of stupid. So let me try to explain on this here blog.  Because my parents agree with me, so just maybe I'm not completely off my rocker.

Starbucks is a cool coffee shop that has spread all over the place, and it seems fitting to me that it would try to support much of what is considered politically correct. It isn't just me who thinks so. They do not just stick to selling coffee but have opinons on things, like a lot of other big companies. For example, supporting the idea of legalizing same-sex marriage, as the executive vice president of Starbucks said, "is core to who we are and what we value as a company". They really believe in the idea of accepting all types of people, and one can see a lot of eccentric people working in Starbucks shops. That's not a bad thing. Being tolerant and accepting of all people is very important. However, when they say they accept all types of people no matter what their sexual orientation, skin colour, race, etc,what they are also doing is promoting  certain behaviors which the Catholic Church considers disordered. They want people to believe that we all determine the morality of our own actions, and we don't have the right to point the finger at anyone else. Which I guess is true, if you don't have the Church to guide you. As Catholics, we are called to love the sinner, but hate the sin.

Most people say that it's fine to go to Starbucks even if you disagree with Starbucks' financial support of certain political movements. It's not directly supporting them, after all. But then again, would you buy something from a store that supports abortion services? Even if it was just a couple of cents going to the cause? Or anti-Jewish groups? Or maybe the hatred-of-homosexual groups! Get my point? Maybe it's not such a good idea to go there if we can help it. Would it not be better to support your local coffee shop rather than Starbucks, and if you can't get to one, perhaps sacrifice that mocha? Anyone feel like giving me their opinion? And by the way, I still own a Starbucks card. Is it hypocritical for me to go there on my birthday and get a free drink? If you think about it, it's actually taking advantage of them and wasting their money. ;)

Happy Easter!

Christ is Risen, Alleluia!!

I had a truly wonderful Easter Triduum, did you?

And one of my little cousins got baptized yesterday!

Here is a poem that I like. It doesn't really have to do with Easter but I thought I'd share it before I forget. I'm quite an expert at forgetting things.

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years.
People grow old only by deserting their ideals.
Years wrinkle the skin but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair . . .
these are the quick equivalents of the
long years that bow the head and turn
the growing spirit back to dust.
Whether 70 or 16, there is, in every being’s heart the love of
wonder, the sweet amazement of the stars, and the star-like
things and thoughts, the undaunted challenge of events,
the unfailing childlike appetite for “What Next?”
You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt,
as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear,
as young as your hope, as old as your despair.
So long as your heart receives messages of
beauty, cheer, courage, grandeur and power from
the earth, from man and from the Infinite, so long are you young.
When all the wires are down, and all the
central places of your heart are covered with
the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism,
then, and only then, are you grown old indeed,
and may God have mercy on your soul.

By Samuel Ullman

The Male Priesthood

A little while ago I wrote a research essay on a controversial but interesting and important topic. A lot of the ideas in the essay come from notes that a friend (N) and I took for something else, so half the credit goes to N for gathering the information.

Can Women be Catholic Priests?

“I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women and this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful” (Ordinatio Sacerdotalis) (Brom 2012). Despite these words stated by Pope John Paul II in 1994, there are groups of “Roman Catholic women-priests” who still preside. They insist that they are “loyal members of the church who stand in the prophetic tradition of holy obedience to the Spirit's call to change an unjust law that discriminates against women” (Womenpriests 2012). The question that will be addressed is whether grounds exist for a female priesthood. Women are clearly different from men, a fact which the Church has always recognized in her understanding of the roles men and women hold in her service. Christ's ultimate authority, the Church He established, and the early Church Fathers leads us to the understanding that the priesthood is not meant for women. Catholic theologians loyal to the Magisterium- the teaching body of the Church- agree that the case of women priests is settled for the moral and ecclesiastical good of all mankind.

Men and women have different roles to play as they are quite distinguishable from each other both physically and mentally. Rebelling against this fact, as many feminists do, is “rebelling against our human nature” (Kreeft 2012). Can't a women preside over mass just as well as a man, asks the feminist? Why are men favored over women in the priestly role? It does not follow, however, that men are “favored” just because they alone can be priests. For this is confusing personal worth with function. This is most clearly seen in the example and role of Jesus' mother, Mary, who was not made an apostle or priestess. It is clear in the Bible that Jesus held Mary very close to his heart, and she was anything but insignificant or invaluable. In fact, she is the most honored saint in the Catholic Church. Thus the Catholic Church is clearly not denigrating the personal worth of women. Women just have a different role to play than men (Kreeft 2012).

One could give an opposite argument to defend the male priesthood. Men cannot have babies, so does this make men more inferior to women (Michelle paragraph 2)? Any sane person would say that of course it does not. As well, if an exclusive male priesthood is an act of discrimination in the Catholic Church, then likewise, each act of creation is an act of discrimination, stated by Catholic apologist Peter Kreeft in his lecture on priestesses. One could say that it is discriminating to light when darkness is present, or unfair to the land wherever there is sea, or unfair to plants that they cannot be animals. The truth is that not even most males are called to the priesthood. One could ask themselves, is this also then an insult to all men who are not priests (Kreeft 2012)?

Most Christians would say that God invented the priesthood. Catholics believe that the Church received this priesthood, and when it did, it was composed of only males (Brom par 2). The Church does not have the power to change the nature of the priesthood as she is not the author (Kreeft 2012). God authorized this nature of the male priesthood from far back in the Old Testament and the Jewish tradition with the priesthood of Melchizedek of Old. In fact, all other ancient religions, except for Jews and Catholics, have/had priestesses (Oddie p 48). Some modern Catholics want to change this ancient tradition of the male priesthood without fully understanding the reasons behind it. Kreeft points out, however, that “if we don't understand the reason for an ancient tradition or rule or institution, that should be a good reason for not abolishing it until we do understand it”. An analogy to this would be something such as knocking down a building when you do not know why it is there (Kreeft 2012).

History shows that the early Church Fathers and early councils in the Church clearly denied the ordination of women. St. Augustine defended the Church against priestesses when he said, [The Quintillians are heretics who] give women predominance so that these, too, can be honored with the priesthood among them. They say, namely, that Christ revealed himself . . . to Quintilla and Priscilla [two Montanist prophetesses] in the form of a woman" (Heresies 1:17 [A.D. 428]) (Brom 2012). In the Council of Nicaea, it was stated that “Similarly, in regard to the deaconesses, as with all who are enrolled in the register, the same procedure is to be observed. We have made mention of the deaconesses, who have been enrolled in this position, although, not having been in any way ordained, they are certainly to be numbered among the laity” (Canon 19 [A.D. 325]) (Brom 2012). These are just two of numerous examples that prove the early Church withheld women from being priests.

If the early church was clear in its rejection of women priests, it was also clear, as it is today, that to be Catholic is to surrender entirely to the Church's moral doctrines including the doctrine on the male priesthood, for the ecclesiastical common good of society. The group of “Catholic women-priests” states on their website that “Yes, we have challenged and broken the Church's Canon Law 1024, an unjust law that discriminates against women. Despite what some bishops may lead the faithful to believe, our ordinations are valid because we are ordained in apostolic succession within the Roman Catholic Church” (Womenpriests, par 6). This does not make sense, however, because if one adheres to some doctrines within the Roman Catholic church, but then disregards others as false, they cannot call themselves true Roman Catholics (Blackburn par 8). A true Catholic is obedient to the Magisterium. Thus these women priests are lying about their identity, a fact which in itself discredits their claim to be valid priestesses.

Jesus himself started the Church by choosing only men to be His apostles. If Jesus had wanted females to be priests, he would have chosen females as some of his twelve apostles as well (Oddie 61). Some say that in choosing exclusively males, “Christ bowed to cultural limitations”. “If Christ bowed down to this male chauvinism, this is a clear denial of the incarnation, which is the very essence of the Christian faith” (Kreeft 2012). Christ would not bow to the culture of His time, in fact, he very often did the opposite. As well, orthodox Christianity has always maintained that the priest represents Christ and the Church represents the people: the Church has always been thought of as feminine. If women are allowed to be priests, this amounts to a morally unacceptable lesbian relationship (Kreeft 2012). Priests act “in persona Christi”, and since Jesus was a man, it is reasonable to assume his priests should be men (Michelle paragraph 1).

All in all, “Christ's sheep follow Him, not lead Him” (Kreeft 2012). If one believes Jesus started the Church, it is clear in the Gospels that Jesus wanted men to be the priests. This is not because women are less important than men, but because they have a different role in this life. However, women are a part of the common priesthood of the faithful. The common priesthood of the faithful, as described in Scripture, is distinguishable from priestly ordination, which is also described in Scripture in John 20: 22-23- “...he breathed on them and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of anyone, they will be forgiven...”. Peter Kreeft says, “God ordained two sexes, not one, to be equal in value, different in nature, and complementary in function. He created women to be a kind of priest that men cannot be; for motherhood is a kind of priesthood and mediation between God and the world. Every mother brings a new image of God into this world as the Blessed Mother brought God Himself into this world” (368)

Works Cited

Oddie, William. What Will Happen to God? London: Photobooks (Bristol) Limited, 1984.

Kreeft, Peter J. Catholic Christianity. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2001.

Kreeft, Peter. “Women and the Priesthood”. Online lecture. Franciscan University of Steubenville, 1994. http://www.peterkreeft.com/audio/09_priestesses.htm. 2012.

Blackburn, Jim. Is it a Doctrine or a Discipline? Catholic Answers. http://www.catholic.com/magazine/articles/is-it-a-doctrine-or-a-discipline. 2012.

Arnold, Michelle. What is it that keeps women from being priests? Catholic Answers. http://www.catholic.com/quickquestions/what-is-it-that-keeps-women-from-being-priests

Brom, Robert. Women and the Priesthood. San Diego: Catholic Answers, 2004. http://www.catholic.com/tracts/women-and-the-priesthood

Roman Catholic Womenpriests. California: Roman Catholic Womenpriests- USA, Inc, 2012. http://romancatholicwomenpriests.org/

No Lent, No Easter!

People who celebrate Easter without knowing about Lent are sure missing out! While we are beautiful creations made in the image of God, we have a strong tendency to want to do things our own way, and even rebel against God. Lent is a time of fasting, penance, and giving oneself to others as a way of showing sorrow for our rebellious behavior. Not that we shouldn't do and think these things throughout the year, but in the Church, there is a special place for them during Lent. Unfortunately many do not seem to see the significance of Lent anymore and rather just skip to the joyous part: Easter Sunday! Where everyone is happy!

Wait a second. Without knowing what it is like to be truly hungry, can one really experience the joy of eating a good meal? In other words, without any fasting, almsgiving, giving up something you truly enjoy, or reflecting on the reasons for the 40 days before Easter, how can one really celebrate the true meaning of Easter and partake in the celebration at a deeper level?  The Church has, for centuries, encouraged the practice of Lent. And it makes sense!

During the 40 days before Easter, Jesus fasted in the desert. He was tempted, wounded, and scorned. During Lent, Catholics as well as some other Christians really reflect on this. We take something away from ourselves, such as a food we really love, to help us remember Jesus' suffering. Or we do something extra special for someone else that kind of makes us go out of our way. Fasting and other ways of abstaining from things important to ourselves also helps us remember to always be on guard from temptations to sin. As well, it is a reminder to us that we do not need everything we want in the here and now. We live in a society that teaches one to live in the moment, but we are called to look beyond the present moment, to what we would like to become after death.

And hey, crucifixes are great reminders of Lent.  Isn't that focusing on the sad part?  Of course!  No sadness, no joy, no death, no resurrection!

Successful Lent, everyone... ;)

the dilemma of computers

Computers are definitely a significant part of my life although I often wish they weren't. I click and type so much. It drives my parents crazy. Click click click. "Would you stop clicking and listen!" they frequently say to Sarah and me, when we are on the computer. "Yes parents. I'll be off soon, Just let me finish this..." "No! Stop Justing!" Well, that is mainly said to Sawi now. I am now in grade 12 and I have to go on the computer a fair bit for checking emails and writing English essays and reading many assignments. And my parents just have to trust me now. That I don't waste my time clicking on stupid things. I am trustworthy. Mostly. For a fact I don't actually like computers that much. The only two reasons I can think of at the moment why I like them is that I can connect with people outside my house in a fast way, and read other peoples' thoughts, ideas and opinions that engulf the internet. The internet is an interesting and dangerous place, but I believe it can be used for a lot of good too. Like www.catholic.com. I try to avoid my computer though, by writing my English notes by hand on good, real paper, getting outside, playing the piano, spending my breaks away from it... if I stare at the computer screen too long, it numbs my brain. I'm highly suspicious that computers are helping to ruin many young peoples' minds. They can be addictive. Help laziness. Be a bad distraction. Fortunately my parents were rather careful about my computer use when I was younger, because my young mind was drawn very quickly to the screen.

So, speaking of clicking, I was clicking through a number of cartoons that numerous people have posted on Facebook. Here are two to ponder, and one to laugh at (if you think it's at all funny).

True, isn't it? Here's another one which I can't exactly decide whether I agree with it completely or not at all:

And one more. I'm not even sure why I find it so funny.

Goodbye, Summer.

Now where has the summer gone? September is here and my last year of highschool has just begun. I think I'm off to a good start. The weather is gorgeous- this is my favorite time of the year- and I am enjoying being back into my school routine again. On my breaks I pick blackberries, eat them, and freeze them, and pick apples, make apple sauce, and freeze it. And of course make crisps. Lots and lots of crisps.

Two weeks ago I went on the most amazing hike with my family that I've ever been on. We hiked to the top of a mountain, right up near the peak. As you hike up near the top, it seems like you could fall off either side (and you can if you aren't very careful). So exhilarating! Here is a picture to prove it, although pictures never give places like this justice. You will have to go up there for yourself to understand the overwhelming thrill!

Blue Herons and Sweet Peas

We have a blue heron family near the bottom of our yard high up in a tree. They are huge. The parents are too long to be coordinated, and fly awkwardly. They are hilarious to watch. Sadly, one of the babies, when practicing flying, was caught by a hawk and gave out the most horrible moaning/screaming sound for a couple of minutes. (I was sitting on the deck with a friend drinking tea while this sad incident happened. Kind of ruined our nice tea time.) The other one is fine, and every time it flies it screeches in terror the whole time it's in the air. The blue herons tend to fill up a lot of my break times.

Last year my Grampy made me a sweet pea planter box for my birthday. Pretty awesome Grampy if I do say so myself. This year I planted sweet peas again and they are blooming right now. They smell so good, and look so good, on our deck. I just love them. When I have my own house I plan on having a whole fence covered in sweet peas of all differerent colours.

So those are two little delights in my life right now (except seeing the baby blue heron killed). A third delight is swimming in the lake. A fourth is picking the first ripe apples in our yard and making apple sauce. A fifth is rocking with my sister to really loud not-classical music in the kitchen while my parents are jogging, and then turning on Handel's Messiah when my parents are about to come in the door.

Extra ecclesiam nulla salus

I sink eet es time for a new blog post. Yah? Ok. So. What is on my mind. The doctrine Extra ecclesiam nulla salus, blue herons, and sweet peas. Today I will lightly dip into the doctrine in a way that my young mind understands. If you haven't heard of this doctrine I suggest reading about it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church or researching it on the Catholic Answers website first. It is a hard doctrine to understand for people who are not Catholic. To put simply, it basically means, “all salvation comes from Christ the Head through the Church which is His Body” (taken from the catechism). To many Protestants this may sound extreme and unfair, but really, people like to make it more complicated than it is.  And some will try and use this doctrine to turn Catholics away from the Faith by manipulating the true meaning of it!  If you are Catholic you obviously believe that Christ founded the Catholic Church. Catholics believe that Jesus is the head, and his Church is the body. Everyone is saved through Jesus, so, it makes sense to say that if you are Catholic, you believe that it is through Jesus and his Church that people are saved. Some might say, “Well that means you Catholics believe that people who aren't Catholics can't get to Heaven”. No, it doesn't mean that at all. It means that people who aren't Catholic can be saved too, but.... this is because of Jesus and his Church. If someone has lived a good life, does not know about the Catholic faith or genuinely believes it to be false because of misconceptions or the way they were raised etc, then they are probably invincibly ignorant. It is different for someone who knows better of course, for example, if they left the Catholic faith knowing that it is the true church, well, they're in trouble. The good thing is that no one can judge individual souls.. only God can judge a person. So basically, if Christ is one with His Church and Christ is necessary for salvation, then the Church is necessary for salvation. This is where the Church is coming from in the Doctrine "Extra ecclesium." Soon I will discuss blue herons and sweet peas; very abstract, I know. But for now it's time to hit the beach.

I'm 17

So my birthday was a couple of days ago. I guess I feel 17! I always thought 17-year-olds were old and wise and mature. Uhh. Maybe a few. I don't know very many and I myself am definitely not one of them. It's pretty fun to be this age, though, and very exciting. One more year of school and then I'm an adult. I feel my childhood slipping away.... in some ways anyway!

On the morning of my birthday, I lay in my bed for a while and listened to the birds singing. Then I got out of my bed and went up stairs, half asleep. My mom and sister rushed towards me and said,“Happy birthday Esther! Now go take your pajamas off and put on some jeans and a t-shirt! Hurry up!” So, dazed, I changed and they took me to the car. They said we were making three stops. We first went to the bakery where we picked up Ladysmith's very yummy cinnamon buns, then to the coffee shop, then to Transfer Beach. We sat in a beautiful little spot overlooking the water and ate our breakfast. The ocean sparkled. The sun was shining, the sky was blue. Now if that isn't a special beginning to a birthday, what is?

I am really quite nervous right now. My biology provincial exam is in two days. I tried to bribe my parents into letting me take the exam next January instead, but they wisely pointed out to me that it's not a good idea to get into that kind of habit, and it's good to just study hard and get it over with instead of procrastinating about it. Procrastinating is so easy. I hate it, since I'm very often guilty of it. It doesn't bring satisfaction but it definitely brings stress, uneasiness, guilt, and bad marks. Ahhhhhhhhhh. I plan to avoid it as much as possible in the future and in the present too, of course. Just a thought- a lot of people like to talk about fixing things in their life in the future. I don't agree with this, I think if people want to fix things, whether it be a reoccuring sin, a bad habit, etc, they need to start now. Not later. Or it's probably not going to happen. The motto “work then play” is what I want to follow in life! It makes life so much more relaxing and rewarding in my opinion. Not to say that I always follow that (ahh). But I wish I did and I'm working on it. Laziness is one of the deadly sins. Now I don't mean to say that relaxing is bad. If you think that's what I meant, you've got it all wrong. I love relaxing. Haha.

I forgot to mention that Father's Day was a little while ago. I just want to say that I have a very wonderful dad whom I love very, very much. For countless reasons such as going to rivers and swimming in the summer with me, teaching me math and sciences, playing games, teaching me soccer, disciplining me, listening to me.... however, most importantly, he is starting me off on my faith journey in a very concrete and beautiful way. He lovingly teaches and guides me as I strive to follow and love Christ with my whole heart. There is nothing a dad could do that is more important than that!

Happiness

In the midst of studying and freaking out about provincial exams, I have to say I am terribly happy. On my breaks, I like to read little sections in random books, jump on the trampoline, run around re-arranging my room while listening to good music really loudly, talk about all sorts of things with my mom and sister, watch sections of the special video my dad is making of our trip-- it's the life. I am so happy. I told my mom the other day that I often feel too blessed.. there are so many who suffer in this world. She told me though, that I will most-likely suffer in the future.. and I should enjoy the minimal amount of suffering I have while it lasts.. even St Pio said that. It also means however that I need to give myself to the needs of others who suffer because that will bring me true happiness.... Okay. Cool. I need to do that much more. It's easier for me to say that than actually do it. I need to put all my words in action more! And if I have to suffer greatly one day, I sure hope I have enough courage and inner faith, hope, and love for God to embrace my suffering and offer it up for others. All in the attitude. I think that some kinds of suffering are not even suffering really, with the right attitude. That might sound weird but let me explain. When I am feeling sick, am worrying too much, feeling hurt, or am in a lot of pain, I try to remember how Jesus suffered so much on the cross. It makes the feeling of suffering go way down until in a way, it's not really suffering anymore. Although it's not like I have a lot of experience at all with the subject so some might say I don't really have a right to say that.

Cooking

I did some cooking today as good friends came over for the hockey game and my parents were gone for the day. I made spaghetti sauce, a gourmet type that you put through an old-fashioned strainer after simmering. It turned out really quite tasty and was fun to make. I also made guacamole dip, and brownies for dessert to put in icecream sundaes. Our friends brought greek salad and salmon. Quite the mixture of foods! Good thing the Canucks won or the sundaes wouldn't have tasted so good.
Cooking is fun, but it always takes longer than I think.

Two. More. Weeks.

.......of school! Come on Essy I Can Do This!!!!!! I'm behind in some areas sadly but I shall not lose hope!! I had a hot then freezing cold shower to wake myself up this morning. And made myself a mocha drink. Now I'm really whizzing. Well, I'm trying to, at least. (Bangs head on desk and stares into space, dreaming about summer, for a moment or two.)

Last Sunday we went to the lake for the first time this year! I was just going to sun bathe as the water was freezing. But apparently I had to water bathe. (wait, what?) Some people, won't mention any names, made me go swimming.  In fact, they threatened me. One of them is almost as strong as me and the other is stronger and taller. What could I do? So I spent 5 minutes inching into the water and went up to my neck.

I have a little book called "Have a Good Day" that contains a quote for every day of the year from the writings of St Padre Pio.  Each day it's awesome and inspiring. Today's quote:
"Do not be at all surprised at your weakness, but acknowledge what you are, and blush at your infidelity towards God, then confide in Him and abandon yourself tranquilly in the arms of the Heavenly Father, like a child in the arms of its mother."

Accident-prone?

Weird random things happen to my sister fairly often. She managed to break her pinky finger skating carefully around a rink, and had to have a two and a half hour long surgery on it. The surgery didn't work very well and her finger is still a little crooked. Two weeks ago she was running on the pavement in bare feet and somehow scraped off the entire nail and most of the nail bed on her little toe. No, she didn't cry. She has broken her braces four times. She has hurt her tail bone numerous times. She smeared lip chap all over her front teeth the day she got her braces. Today, Sarah and I were pretending to fight, with deodorant as our weapons. Don't even ask!! Anyway, I pretended to lash out near her face, and somehow she stuck out her front teeth, and a chunk of deodorant mushed into her front braces. She bravely fled to the bathroom and washed her mouth out about 100 times with toothpaste and water. Then she told me, “Wow, that is the worst thing I've ever tasted,” while giggling. When painful and/or gross things happen to her, she has such an amazing attitude. She usually laughs, sometimes hysterically.
 

This weekend: DYC conference in Victoria. Next Wednesday-Friday: Juan de Fuca trail with TLA. Day after that: concerto performance. In between activities: school and packing and piano.

Dreams and Aspirations

Oops. In my last entry I made a mistake. Sarah quickly informed me that her club is not called “His Divine Mercy” but “Society of His Divine Mercy”. What was I thinking?

Today is the big March for Life in Victoria. I still don't get why there even has to be a protest for the lives of innocent human babies.

My life these days: Memorizing biology and music history. Procrastinating on Socials. Fairly steadily kicking along with English. Praying with my fam and by myself. Playing the piano and trying to wrap my head around the idea of learning my new difficult pieces. Especially playing pieces where the timing is 3 against 4, 7 against 8, and 4 against 5. But I do enjoy the challenge. And they are such awesome pieces! Anyway back to the list. Sleeping. Dreaming about life and questioning myself about life when I'm supposed to be doing school. Debating. Asking my parents questions. Lying on my bed staring at the ceiling. Weekday sleepovers which involve school, school, talking, sleeping, school. And a nice sleepover last weekend without any school. Watching hockey, yeah. Playing soccer... never get tired of it. Looking at new cookbooks my mom picked up from the consignment store. Getting bangs- I actually like them (most of the time)! Etc etc etc. By the way, I love cooking/baking. It's so fun to try out new recipes. Not that I cook very much at all!

I will now go against the secular tidal wave and say it clear: I want to be a mother! I can not wait! I want to have kids. I want to read to my kids. Listen to them. Joke with them. Treasure them. Discipline them. Learn from them. I want to raise my kids in the Catholic faith. I want them to know and love Jesus with all their heart. Who says it's a drag to be a mother. Who says you are “trapped” and who says it's any less important than having a career. Maybe I will get a career and not get married, or have to work part time while I raise my kids. But maybe, just maybe, I'll get to be a full-time mother. "Wow. Weird sheltered homeschooler!" some people might say, which is ironic because as far as I know it's actually perfectly natural for me to want to be a mom. It will be hard at times, but certainly not my annoyance in life. I don't understand the feminists who started the idea of “It's such a pain to have to stay at home and do nothing with your life.” Do nothing? Excuse me? A mother has a full time job, and it is one of the most important jobs a person could have in this world I believe. My mom is a wonderful example.. she has sacrificed her "career" to raise my sister and me. I do not think she lives miserably. She tells me that she thanks God every day that she has had the opportunity to homeschool her daughters and share her daily life with them. She has given me so much, I could never thank her enough. We have had so many wonderful times together and since I have been homeschooled, I have grown much closer to her.. and also to my dad and sister.

Well well well. That's all for now, folks.

Sawi

It's about time I wrote about my very best girlfriend. What better friend than a sister? No, sisterly love is not all peaches and cream, but that just shows how deep the friendship is. And how much more we can grow in it. We have to constantly forgive each other. I do not live in a large family. But I have this one incredible sister of mine. The Sunny type. She's the type that makes the best of situations and puts up with your grumpiness with apparent ease most of the time. When she is having a mean streak, it never lasts too long. She loves to pray and go to mass. She declared the other day that she is going to write to a nun as a pen-pal, and that she's starting a club called “His Divine Mercy Club”. She's always full of awesome ideas like that, and very often follows through with them. She is good at doing things for others- she'd make a great nurse. She leaves me little notes saying how pretty she thinks I look that day, and she gives me gift cards for free back scratches or hairstyling. Wow. She doesn't compliment me so that she can get compliments back like a lot of girls do; she does it out of sheer thoughtfulness. And she also leaves me notes telling me that I'm a rotten bum, but that's good, too.

When she walks down the road, people smile at her. One day in Italy, a nun was sitting on a bus and motioned my sister to sit down beside her. The nun was grinning from ear to ear and put her arm around her, talking away in Italian. My sister just grinned back. My sister has this knack of bringing an extra bit of joy to older people very easily.

My sister is a goof. She is a natural at making people laugh. However amidst her goofiness, she has her deep side; she can be much deeper than me. We have our sister walks and talks, where we discuss all sorts of things.

I love how she putters around in her room dreamily when she is supposed to be going to bed but has lost track of time; how she secretly memorizes poems without telling anyone; how she slips little candies and things under my door; how she does nothing other than reading when she is in the middle of “the best book in the world” (which changes with almost every book she reads); how she has her little snacks and drinks always prepared as if the queen were coming to visit; how she bursts into song at any given moment; and how she very often thinks the best of others.

I love my sister, what can I say? No words could ever depict the living flower garden that she is.

I'm Back.

People say that my family and I went away at a very good time. The month of March in BC was rainy and cold with little signs of Spring. Well... I'm wondering if I should feel guilty or not. Apparently we took the sun with us. We arrived in Poland, where it was supposed to be snowing. It was definitely colder than here, but a drier, more enjoyable sort of cold.. and to top it off it was sunny for us during our stay. We had about 2 days total of light rain during the entire month. The rest? SUN. And no, I did not tan. Of course not. I did manage to get a couple more freckles though.
I am not even going to try and explain our trip on here. If you know me well you will ask me yourself, anyway.
Sometimes, in order to look at things in your life from a different view, you literally have to pick yourself up and move elsewhere for a bit, and then come back. After seeing so much beauty on our pilgrimage... and also after seeing things that broke my heart... I feel as though I have come back to my little life with a slightly different perspective. Some things were starting to get foggy in my brain. Perhaps because of too much school, or too much worrying, or too much mindless thoughts weaving in and out of my head... on our trip I had more time to read...to think... I know you can do those things at home, but it's different when you are out of your daily routine. By the way, I read The Pearl by John Steinbeck, Blooming Rose by Louisa May Alcott, and Anne of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery. All very different and all very thought-provoking and wonderful.
These simple words of Padre Pio (we went to his shrine, by the way) are a very good reminder for me during this season of Lent:

This heart of mine is Yours... my Jesus, so take this heart of mine, fill it with Your love and then order me to do whatever you wish.

Europe!

On Friday I leave on a Very big trip. By far the biggest trip that I will be doing before I leave home and venture off into the world on my own two (hopefully well grounded) feet (due to my terrific parents). Poland, Germany, France, and Italy. Oh. My. Goodness. What did my dad hear on the news the other day? Poland is currently in a deep freeze and there have been a couple of deaths. What country did we decide to first go to?! Poland of course. Deep freezes naturally attract us, apparently. Especially my mom. Actually the main reason I  am personally very excited to go to Poland is because that is where Pope John Paul II lived before he became pope. We are even going in the very church where he heard confessions and preached- the Krakow Cathedral. If anything is going to make me zealous about my faith, it will be that. Not to mention that we are going to the Vatican a week or two later, oh my!! And a German soccer game.... hmm... surely there has to be something holy about soccer, too! We're also staying in a castle for one night in France. And going to Auschwitz, which hopefully we can handle ok. I can't really fathom this trip. To me, it's incomprehensible. I do not think I'll actually believe we're going until we step into Poland.

Finding God in Silence

I am taking a catechism course with Father Deprey. He mentioned that silence is very important for the well being of the soul. When he was in seminary school, there was complete silence during both breakfast and supper. He said that people get caught up in their daily actions and forget simple things such as silent prayer. It is easy to get too wrapped up in one's activities, which could be things that aren't bad in themselves such as sports, computer, dancing, etc. I agree with him. Our priorities can start to wobble in the wrong direction. This leads to idolatry in the sense that we can get overly focused on our activities, which distracts us from remembering that God is the center of our lives. I believe that this inclination to let oneself get distracted from God's presence by means of busyness is very common in our society. I know this happens to me.

"We need to find God, and God cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature- trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence. See the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence. The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life." -Blessed Mother Teresa

Poems

"If the track is tough and the hill is rough,
THINKING you can just ain't enough!" -Shel Silverstein

Hmm. The little engine that could, from another story, had courage and said over and over “I think I can I think I can!” And he made it up the hill. But he also had to put his words into action. I am determined to do that with my schoolwork. But you know those days, when you are in a dreamy child-like mood, and feel like walking through a forest in bare feet, sticking your toes in the ocean and breathing in the fresh salty air, climbing up a tree, and doing some watercolour painting? Well maybe that's just me... but it's one of those days for me. Yes, sometimes I'm still the twelve-year-old adventurous tree-hugger that I used to be. With Spring on the horizon, sunny weather, and little snow drops here and there I just get this overwhelming sense of loving life and God's creation. It pulls me away from my schoolwork, but at the same time, it helps me to stay focused, as it reminds me to thank God continually for all life's blessings. Learning is amazing (and this includes schoolwork, even though it is at times burdensome) and I will surely continue learning for the rest of my life. I think I'll share a couple of poems by Silverstein that my sister and I just loved when we were younger.

Where the Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.

Invention

I've done it, I've done it!

Guess what I've done!

Invented a light that plugs into the sun.

The sun is bright enough,

The bulb is strong enough,

But, oh, there's only one thing wrong...

The cord ain't long enough.

The Acrobats

I'll swing

By my ankles,

She'll cling

To your knees

As you hang

By your nose

From a high-up

Trapeze.

But just one thing, please,

As we float through the breeze-

Don't sneeze.

And here are two poems (out of quite a few) that I wrote when I was about twelve, for something different:

Shades of purple

The Artist paints,

Spiritual colour

Gentle but defined.

Last detail,

And the small

masterpiece is done.

The creation breathes

Its first breath

Puts off a sent

So glorious

And stunning.

The Creator moves on

To more important

Things but

Looks back-

Oh divine, oh lovely,

Oh sweet

Purple lilac.

--

The crest of the moon,

The shape of a c,

Shining down on Tofino

On a foggy night.

So many nocturnal

Creatures busy at work;

Scuttling, jumping,

Busy digging holes in the sand.

So few diurnal animals awake,

All mostly sleeping quietly

In their nests, burrows, and

Dense thickets.

The waves crash

Against the shore

Like a small, enjoyable

Thunderstorm.

Silently, a cougar waiting to pounce,

The sun slowly makes its way up,

Until it reaches the horizon

Giving a warm glow of satisfaction.

All of Tofino is brightened

With a new light of blue, red, and gold,

The stars quickly disappear,

And a new day has come.

Books.

I am silly. For numerous reasons. But one reason is that I am trying to read 6 things at once. If I were logical, I'd read just one thing at a time. And it's taking me months to get through these 6 things. I am not a super fast reader and I do not read very much. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love reading. I just don't always get around to it. My favourite time to read is right before bed, but my biology teacher and music history teacher both seem to think that a great time to review work is right before bed. Sigh. I don't always take their advice.

1. Agatha Christie- The Seven Dials Mystery
2. Forty Dreams of St. John Bosco (lent to me by a friend who deserves to have it back by now...I had better get cracking.)
3. My dad's paper.
4. A book on St Teresa of Avila's life.
5. The Book of Acts
6. Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, for school. Yes I am what you consider a romantic, but if I chose that for bedtime reading just for fun, I think that would be going a tad bit too far.

Why?

For the fun of it. For something to do that requires thought. Okay wow, I take the latter back. I do a fair bit of thinking. At least I'm pretty sure that I do. Maybe not free form, as in what-am-I-going-to-do-today-because-I-have-so-much-free-time-type thinking. But what a Catholic grade 11 homeschooling girl thinks about. You know. Well, you probably don't know, because the answer could probably be just about anything. So, I take that back too. I do have my moments, however, where I do no think at all; where literally no thought processes are going through my head, or just a very few precious ones. I am a slight scatter brain at times and often do not use the brain God gave me. It's just a sad/humerous truth that I work on; really, I do.

Two facts about me, to start off this blog.
I am a phlegmatic melancholic.
My loyal, adorable, everyday school buddy happens to be my dog, Newton.

And a quote. "God is good. God and chocolate are better." (St Teresa of Avila)